then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
