This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
