my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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