I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you would pick up someone in the library
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
