just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
he quoted the bible to break up with me
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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