Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
