for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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