I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
