Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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