how hairy? two words: wookie tits
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
