I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
