Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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