I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My penis needs a shock collar
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
