i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
