you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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