I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
wow bdsm is so cute
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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