Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
