We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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