I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
