I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
