Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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