Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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