eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
