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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
