WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
