When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
