i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
