I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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