Well douche your snatch and let's go!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
