i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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