"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
