If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
