Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
