WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
