she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
