Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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