I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
