It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
