I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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