I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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