Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
