So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Randomize
