with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
