you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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