I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
