she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
