Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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