My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
