all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
