Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
