Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize