Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
