Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize