no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
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