I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
