She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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