Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
