JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Four minutes until I can fart!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
