Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
