she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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