Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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