Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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